Ask a therapist

How can I get the most out of premarital counseling?

  • Published Jan 8, 2024

    2 mins read
  • Written by:Lauren Mollica, LMFT
  • Reviewed by:Adam Putterman
How can I get the most out of premarital counseling?


Every Friday, we open our Instagram to the Ours community and let couples submit questions to our team of couples therapists. We pick the most interesting ones and write our thoughts here. This week’s question is: “How can I get the most out of premarital counseling? How many sessions to do, should we try and do those ‘Myers-Briggs’ types of tests, etc.!”

It’s helpful to go into it having some goals in mind. Sometimes it can be hard to know what your goals might look like, or what areas you would like to strengthen as a couple. With that in mind, something we offer to all couples on our platform is a Rose, Bud, Thorn and discussion decks.

Rose, bud, thorn

Rose, bud, thorn is a reflection exercise that we invite you to do weekly with your partner. It is a great framework for discussion, reflection, and goal setting. And — it could spark topics to cover with your therapist once you are matched!

The discussion decks

Our discussion decks are prompts to use with your partner to create opportunities to discuss various topics (like holidays, family planning, and about us) and can be a way to forge deeper connections or uncover items that you would like to discuss with the help of a therapist.


Assessments aren’t always necessary, but we definitely believe in fostering engaging conversation to explore goals you’d like to achieve in couples therapy. Assessments are just one tool. Others might look like the discussion decks, rose/bud/thorn, mapping out a few goals with your partner ahead of time, reflecting on pain points that have come up in your relationship so far, etc. It’s all about what works for you!

Premarital sessions

The number of sessions is also dependent on your needs and goals you hope to achieve out of premarital counseling. Typically, couples book anywhere from 2 to 8 sessions. What’s great about premarital counseling on the Ours platform is that it truly tailored to you and your partner.

Premarital counseling

Get started with premarital counseling on Ours, led by a licensed therapist.

Start today

More articles


6 mins

Top 10 best couples therapists in the Bay Area [2024]

Some couples seek therapy to resolve conflict or bring back intimacy, and others use it as a tool to proactively strengthen their relationship. If you…


11 mins

Pre-marriage counseling: Benefits + what to expect

Pre-marriage counseling is a great way to create a strong foundation for your marriage long before the wedding happens. You’ll learn how to align your…

Relationship wellness

9 mins

Does marriage counseling really work?

Not only is marriage counseling a great way to overcome challenges in a relationship, but it’s also a great way to proactively strengthen it. Together,…


7 mins

So What Is Premarital Counseling

In this piece we'll walk you through the ins and outs of premarital counseling, plus walk you through how we do things differently at Ours.…
a couple working through a relationship worksheet together online

Relationship wellness

5 mins

Five couples therapy worksheets to strengthen your relationship  

A strong and healthy relationship starts with effective communication. That’s why we’ve created five couples therapy worksheets — your cheat sheets to foster a more…


6 mins

10 best marriage counselors in Cleveland

Finding the right marriage counseling service in Cleveland can take a lot of work, so we put together a list of the top 10 counselors…


6 mins

Top 10 best couples counselors in NYC

There are great couples counselors throughout New York City who can help you strengthen your relationship. The marriage rate in New York was at 5.2…

Relationship wellness

11 mins

14 Tips for How to Bring Back Intimacy in a Marriage

If your relationship is struggling with intimacy, you’re not alone. One study surveyed almost 18,000 couples in the United States and found that 15.6 percent…