How can I get the most out of premarital counseling?

Every Friday, we open our Instagram to the Ours community and let couples submit questions to our team of couples therapists. We pick the most interesting ones and write our thoughts here. This week’s question is: “How can I get the most out of premarital counseling? How many sessions to do, should we try and do those ‘Myers-Briggs’ types of tests, etc.!”

It’s helpful to go into it having some goals in mind. Sometimes it can be hard to know what your goals might look like, or what areas you would like to strengthen as a couple. With that in mind, something we offer to all couples on our platform is a Rose, Bud, Thorn and discussion decks.

Rose, bud, thorn

Rose, bud, thorn is a reflection exercise that we invite you to do weekly with your partner. It is a great framework for discussion, reflection, and goal setting. And — it could spark topics to cover with your therapist once you are matched!

The discussion decks

Our discussion decks are prompts to use with your partner to create opportunities to discuss various topics (like holidays, family planning, and about us) and can be a way to forge deeper connections or uncover items that you would like to discuss with the help of a therapist.

Assessments

Assessments aren’t always necessary, but we definitely believe in fostering engaging conversation to explore goals you’d like to achieve in couples therapy. Assessments are just one tool. Others might look like the discussion decks, rose/bud/thorn, mapping out a few goals with your partner ahead of time, reflecting on pain points that have come up in your relationship so far, etc. It’s all about what works for you!

Premarital sessions

The number of sessions is also dependent on your needs and goals you hope to achieve out of premarital counseling. Typically, couples book anywhere from 2 to 8 sessions. What’s great about premarital counseling on the Ours platform is that it truly tailored to you and your partner.