Should We Get Engaged?

  • Published May 15, 2024

    4 mins read
  • Written by:Dr. Alexandra Solomon
Should We Get Engaged?

A couple’s guide to making the leap and overcoming the Pace Discrepancy: How to Communicate, Connect, and Grow Together

As a relationship therapist and the creator of the “Should We Get Engaged?” card deck, I’ve seen countless couples struggle with the challenges of being on different pages about getting engaged and married. One partner feels ready to take the next step, while the other feels unsure or anxious about making such a significant commitment. I call this dynamic a “Pace Discrepancy,” and it can lead to feelings of frustration, disconnection, and even fear about the future of the relationship.

But here’s the good news: with the right tools, mindset, and communication strategies, you and your partner can navigate this crossroads with grace, compassion, and a deeper sense of understanding for one another. That’s exactly why I created this card deck – to empower couples like you to have the conversations that matter most as you explore this pivotal moment in your relationship.

So, who is the “Should We Get Engaged?” deck for? It’s for any couple who:

  • Is experiencing a “Pace Discrepancy” in their readiness for engagement and marriage
  • Wants to communicate more effectively about their unique needs, fears, and hopes
  • Is ready to cultivate greater empathy and understanding for each other’s perspectives
  • Wants to focus on the strengths and joys of their relationship, even as they sit with uncertainty
  • Is committed to building a strong and connected partnership as they navigate this chapter together

What can you expect from diving into this deck with your partner? Through a series of thought-provoking questions, reflective prompts, and guided exercises, you’ll have the opportunity to:

  1. Explore your individual readiness for engagement and marriage
  2. Share your hopes, dreams, and fears about the future of your relationship
  3. Practice deep listening and empathy as you seek to understand each other’s perspectives
  4. Identify and celebrate the strengths and growth opportunities in your partnership
  5. Create a shared vision for your relationship, one that honors both of your needs and desires

But why is this kind of intentional communication and reflection so important? Because engagement and marriage are not just milestones to check off a list – they are sacred thresholds in the life of a relationship, inviting you to deepen your commitment, vulnerability, and intimacy with one another. And when you approach these thresholds with intentionality, curiosity, and care, you lay the foundation for a relationship that can weather the inevitable storms of life and grow stronger over time.

As you explore the “Should We Get Engaged?” deck together, you’ll also be tapping into the power of what I call “micro-moments of connection” – those small, daily opportunities to turn towards each other with love, understanding, and respect. By filling your relationship with these moments, you cultivate a sense of safety, trust, and emotional intimacy that will serve you well, not just in navigating the engagement crossroads, but in all the chapters of your life together.

So, if you and your partner are ready to take your relationship to the next level of depth, connection, and understanding, I invite you to explore the “Should We Get Engaged?” card deck. With its expert guidance, empowering prompts, and transformative exercises, this deck is your key to unlocking the full potential of your partnership.

As you embark on this journey together, remember: love is not about perfection or reaching a finish line. It’s about showing up for each other, day after day, with open hearts and a willingness to grow. And with the “Navigating the Engagement Crossroads” deck as your guide, you’ll have everything you need to do just that.

Here’s to your love story, and to the beautiful adventure ahead.

With warmth and support, Dr. Alexandra Solomon

The card deck

Developed by Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon, a therapist, professor, speaker, and author with extensive expertise in relationships and Relational Self-Awareness.

Should We Get Engaged?

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