What was your first impression of each other?
Mary: My first impression of Scott was that he had a great smile and seemed like a happy person. He was very personable. We met in a restaurant (I was dining with my mom and he was with a friend) and he was not at all shy about approaching me and striking up an engaging conversation.
Scott: My first impression of Mary was that she was very attractive and obviously family oriented, as she was having dinner with her mother.
What’s your favorite thing about each other?
M: I can’t boil it down to just one thing that is my favorite about Scott, but I would say that two things that have stuck out over time is his ability to be calm and direct in the face of difficulties and challenges and that he has an amazing sense of humor and makes me laugh every day.
S: My favorite thing about Mary is her compassion for others in need, since of humor and intelligence.
How long have you two been together for?
M: We first met in late 1996.
What’s your number one tip for resolving conflict?
M: My number one tip is when things get heated to take a step back and cool down for a couple of minutes before getting to a volatile place and to try and keep perspective on what the conflict is really about.
S: Frank and honest communication.
What’s most important to you in a relationship?
M: Most important for me in a relationship is to have good communication, respect, deep love and to come together as partners in our approach to facing the world.
S: Mutual respect, communication, physical, emotional and intellectual attraction.
What are your thoughts on couples therapy? If you’ve attended therapy, what have you learned?
M: We have not attended therapy. I think it was not as available or familiar when we were early in our relationship, and we have had to work through things on our own. I am a big supporter of therapy to help work through difficulties.
S: We have not attended couples therapy, however I am all for it if it helps couples resolve conflicts.
Describe how you met in emojis:
What’s your rose/bud/thorn?
- Rose: Hmmm. We flourish in our communication, our joy in spending lots of time together, our day to day focus on health and well-being and our sex life.
- Bud: Our bud area is re-acquainting ourselves with life as a twosome now that we are “empty-nesting” that includes learning how to focus on each other more intently and splurging on our experiences together.
- Thorn: Thorn items…after 27 years together I feel like we’ve worked well to eliminate the thorns or at least seriously buff them down. I can’t think of anything that is really not working well.
- Rose: Our Rose is physical and verbal communication.
- Bud: Our Bud is to prioritize travel.
- Thorn: Our Thorn is carving out quality time together on a day to day basis.